It has been a while.....perhaps a very long time!
Only the other day I was trying to think the last time I slept....couldn't remember....months.
Only the other day I was trying to think the last time I slept....couldn't remember....months.
The following is just a first-hand personal experience of what people call as acute Insomnia! (Damn!!! Can’t believe I’m doing this!)
Laying in my bed......my mind wanders....on millions of different random issues. For some sleeping at night is a wonderful feeling....a zone where you let go of everything....a phase where your mind and soul is at peace...To me, it's a horrible ordeal every night where I often lose!
The feeling of wakefulness is a rather painful one….
Laying in my bed......my mind wanders....on millions of different random issues. For some sleeping at night is a wonderful feeling....a zone where you let go of everything....a phase where your mind and soul is at peace...To me, it's a horrible ordeal every night where I often lose!
The feeling of wakefulness is a rather painful one….
I’m in my bed…..it’s dark and quiet….rather dead! I close my eyes…and I see my life….in bits and pieces….scattered all around….it just revolves in front of my inner eyes….I start chasing pieces….and my mind starts thinking ‘bout all at once…
My mind’s running…..out of control…..I see things…many things….I don’t get to choose….it all seems either very random or pre-decided. I have no control over my thoughts…..
Abruptly….there’s a pause…only for me to realise that I’m loosing breath and my heart seems to be sinking! And, I’m in pain! Acute physical pain…..
I twist and turn…and I change sides….I even blow the air-conditioning on full, with two fans next to me….it’s a sub conscious effort to create an atmosphere where it’s so unbearably cold that your mind gives in….surrender to a state of rather passing out…….Nope…not working!!!
So, I get up…and I go out for a smoke (knowing that it’s only going to wake me up). I go out and light a smoke and I look up…..sometimes its dark…at times there’re stars…..mostly, there’re stars! Seems, even the stars can’t sleep….they’re just blinking….perhaps with their heavy eyes! Maybe they empathise with me…..may be…
I go back and it’s cold….very cold….maybe seventeen degrees (the coolest it gets) and I lie down….
I don’t want to sleep….the path to get to sleep seems rather painful…..but its cold….very cold…..and I hear the birds…maybe its dawn…..I feel cold….very cold….
My mind’s running…..out of control…..I see things…many things….I don’t get to choose….it all seems either very random or pre-decided. I have no control over my thoughts…..
Abruptly….there’s a pause…only for me to realise that I’m loosing breath and my heart seems to be sinking! And, I’m in pain! Acute physical pain…..
I twist and turn…and I change sides….I even blow the air-conditioning on full, with two fans next to me….it’s a sub conscious effort to create an atmosphere where it’s so unbearably cold that your mind gives in….surrender to a state of rather passing out…….Nope…not working!!!
So, I get up…and I go out for a smoke (knowing that it’s only going to wake me up). I go out and light a smoke and I look up…..sometimes its dark…at times there’re stars…..mostly, there’re stars! Seems, even the stars can’t sleep….they’re just blinking….perhaps with their heavy eyes! Maybe they empathise with me…..may be…
I go back and it’s cold….very cold….maybe seventeen degrees (the coolest it gets) and I lie down….
I don’t want to sleep….the path to get to sleep seems rather painful…..but its cold….very cold…..and I hear the birds…maybe its dawn…..I feel cold….very cold….
